As 2013 rapidly approaches, today cycle day 35 is looking likely to become cycle day 1. The last cycle of 2012. It's been a hard year, the worst in my so far 4 1/2 year struggle to become a mom. I have had a very hard time this year staying positive, staying happy. I have lost that battle more days this year than I have won it. I've watched two friends (well, four friends, two couples), who started ttc about the same time we did, have their dreams come true and two beautiful, oh so wanted and dreamed for babies born. Riley was born in May, Jordyn just last week - what a Christmas present she made!! My optimistic side and my pessimistic side alternate between thinking it MUST be my turn soon and thinking the more friends I know who win mean statistically my chances go down, we can't ALL win, am I destined to be the one who never does?
We've been on a break for several months, letting the residual Clomid get out of my system, wasn't as careful with my diet, went off of my supplements, stopped taking my temp, drank some (alcohol and coffee), etc. It was also supposed to be a mental break for me, giving me a chance to collect myself, relax from the cycle of "could this be it" etc, but that never really happened. Tracking my cycle or not, "trying" or not, thinking it's possible or not, it doesn't change the wondering about every symptom, getting my hopes up and then crashing down when AF shows. I am working on another post about what infertility has stolen from me and what it has given to me, mostly it has stolen my love of children. I can't hardly be around them for more than a couple of minutes at a time without melting down. Older children are better but anyone under about 10yrs old just simply hurts too bad. Pictures hurt, videos hurt, every single movie and tv show eventually has some sort of pregnancy or birth in it and every single one is a knife to my heart. "On a break" didn't help nor hurt this, it just is and it is inescapable.
As this cycle and this year come to an end, it's time to get back on track. My morning coffee and beloved Starbucks will be going by the wayside this week, laid aside for hopefully a good long while (due to pregnancy, hopefully not a good long while of ttc), same with alcohol (not that I drink very much anyways). Time to start temping again and get back on my supplements. Time to buy another bulk pack of pregnancy tests and ovulation predictors. Time to get back to the RE (although I am seriously thinking of finding another) and start formulating a game plan. This is also likely our last hurrah. Our tentative game plan when we went on this break was to wait for the new year of insurance benefits to kick in, do a round of the injectible ovulation stimulating hormones and, hopefully, one well time iui. If it doesn't work we have discussed stopping on us getting pregnant and start exploring other options such as surrogacy which will not be financially feasible for a long time, if ever and adoption is not going to be an option for financial and red tape reasons for a few years at least. But no pressure.
I am choosing to go into this new year and new cycle on a positive note. I choose to see it as a good sign that this last cycle is finishing up just as the new year begins - a new year and a new start - maybe a new life? We'll see if I can keep my optimism up :)
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Bad blogger, bad bad blogger!
I have not done a post in a while now. Partly because I have had to take a break from pretty much all things baby for mental reasons, partly because my add gets in my way. I get ideas for posts and before I can get it fleshed out and the post even written, my brain has flitted on to 40 other ideas and none of them get written. I intend to change that.
As a little catch up, obviously we are still not pregnant. Mr TCI and I recently had our 5yr wedding anniversary and are closing in on our 6yr "meetiversary" lol. We had to take a break as I was getting too close to the edge of a nervous breakdown or something. We also had spent our allotted 2012 fertility insurance/budget so decided to just take it easy for a few months, save up some money, wait for the new benefits year to roll around and see if I could get in a better place mentally. I'm not sure how much it helped, I'm still not doing very well.
Our tentative game plan for the new year is to do a round of injectible ovulation stimulators and an iui. Honestly I am thinking of finding another re as well. I love the office, love his nurse, really like him in a lot of ways but on the other hand his attitude kind of bugs me. He doesn't seem to be very interested in finding out WHY I'm not getting pregnant as much as he is interested in just trying one thing after another and seeing what, if anything, works. I suspect my thyroid is playing a part but even though I ASKED for a full panel thyroid test he only pulled the basic and declared me fine. The research I have done since then lead me to believe I am NOT *fine* and that it could be a factor. Unfortunately I have yet to find a dr, re or otherwise, who actually cares enough to do anything.
Anyways, I have a couple of ideas for things I would like to write about including more on the thyroid issue, a post that I have actually started about what infertility has stolen from me - and what it has given me and a couple of other ideas. Help me stay on track, what would you like me to write about?
As a little catch up, obviously we are still not pregnant. Mr TCI and I recently had our 5yr wedding anniversary and are closing in on our 6yr "meetiversary" lol. We had to take a break as I was getting too close to the edge of a nervous breakdown or something. We also had spent our allotted 2012 fertility insurance/budget so decided to just take it easy for a few months, save up some money, wait for the new benefits year to roll around and see if I could get in a better place mentally. I'm not sure how much it helped, I'm still not doing very well.
Our tentative game plan for the new year is to do a round of injectible ovulation stimulators and an iui. Honestly I am thinking of finding another re as well. I love the office, love his nurse, really like him in a lot of ways but on the other hand his attitude kind of bugs me. He doesn't seem to be very interested in finding out WHY I'm not getting pregnant as much as he is interested in just trying one thing after another and seeing what, if anything, works. I suspect my thyroid is playing a part but even though I ASKED for a full panel thyroid test he only pulled the basic and declared me fine. The research I have done since then lead me to believe I am NOT *fine* and that it could be a factor. Unfortunately I have yet to find a dr, re or otherwise, who actually cares enough to do anything.
Anyways, I have a couple of ideas for things I would like to write about including more on the thyroid issue, a post that I have actually started about what infertility has stolen from me - and what it has given me and a couple of other ideas. Help me stay on track, what would you like me to write about?
Monday, September 5, 2011
My new tattoo, infertility insensitivity and horrid customer service
I have one tattoo that I got as my 30th birthday present to myself. I have wanted more but didn't really want to get any while I was trying to get pregnant, pregnant or breastfeeding which, of course, I have been doing one for a while and would hopefully be doing all of the above for the majority of my foreseeable future. So I had resigned myself to accepting that there would be no more tattoos for who knows how long.
After doing some research I decided that it would not really be any more risky to get one while ttc than not so I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo of a Kokpelmana, a fertility deity. I went to Your Design or Mine in Lexington where my cousin had gotten a couple of tattoos and told them Mr TCI and I have been struggling with infertility for 3 1/2 years and I told them I was hoping she would bring me some good luck and karma to help overcome our battle. This sparked a conversation among the couple who own the shop and their son (who did my tattoo) as well as the other artist and another woman (the other artist's girlfriend? Wife? Maybe she worked there too?). The conversation consisted of how much trouble kids were, how once I had kids I would change my mind and wonder why I ever wanted "the rascals", how glad they were they weren't having kids, how lucky the kid was that he was the only one among his friends to not have any kids, etc.
I was annoyed but let it slide. Later I decided to let them know how I felt, hopefully it would give them pause for thought. I know many people who haven't dealt with infertility don't really know how to respond and automatically want to lighten the mood. Unfortunately joking such as this is more hurtful than helpful, a heartfelt or even cursory "Sorry you are going through this" or "Good luck" is a much more appreciated response. I know that I let stuff like this mostly slide but that many women battling infertility are much more hurt than I and if I can help educate people on giving constructive responses when they hear of women struggling, it can help others to do so even if it doesn't bother me all that much beyond minor annoyance. So sparked the following exchange which sent me down the path from slightly annoyed customer to royally pissed off customer.
Michelle wrote:
Michelle replied:
Company information:
Your Design or Mine
http://www.yourdesignormine.com/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Your-Design-Or-Mine/120493721307820
1993 Harrodsburg Road, Lexington, KY 40503
859-278-1631
The review I have left them on as many of the review sites as I have been able to find...
I had been recommended this shop and have a close relative get work here done years ago with great results so I went to them for my tattoo. They were very friendly but were a bit insensitive to the struggle I was going through that my tattoo was representative of so later that evening I sent them a polite email to let them know how happy I was with my tattoo but that their unintentional insensitivity had stung a bit. I got an email back telling me to “lighten up”. I emailed again saying I was just trying to give them a heads up on how they could be a little more sensitive to their customers and received back an email telling me to find another shop for future work and “quit taking my problems out on others”. Nice customer service. If this is how they react to polite constructive criticism I would hate to see their response to a truly irate customer.
It gets even better! After sharing this story on The Crunchy Infertile's Facebook page, on some fertility forums and on my own Facebook wall, I have had several people tell me they have sent the company emails or left them reviews as well. One person has reported back their own horrific email response from them. She is contacting the BBB and has expressed interest in organizing a protest (she is also a local person). Here is the exchange between them...
Brittney:
I am really offended by an email responce to a fellow woman with infertility. Infertility is hurtful, just like any other heath problem. You try for a baby like there is no tomorrow. You take the pregnancy test every month and every month it is negative, then when it is positive? You suffer from miscarriage after miscarriage, after miscarriage. There is no way to lighten up when you are putting everything on the line for a child an you cannot have one.. or you cannot keep one alive. When a customer tells you that what was said HURT THEM you should apologize and take responsibility . I am so sorry you guys were blessed with children that you do not want. If you would like to give them up for adoption so that an infertile couple may give them a better life.. one where their new parents would teach them kindness and respect towards others feel free to contact me and we can get the ball rolling!
Your Design or Mine:
IF GOD WANTED YOU TO HAVE KIDS YOU WOULD ...SO DONT HATE ON SOME ONE THAT DOES..FUCK OFF
So now I have gone from wanting to share this story with other infertiles to wanting to make sure as many people as possible know what assholes these people are. To be clear, I don't really care about their opinion. If they want to be such assholes amongst themselves that is fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I find it HIGHLY offensive that they would treat customers this way. So please help make sure everyone knows how little these people care about their customers and potential customers.
Here she is...
After doing some research I decided that it would not really be any more risky to get one while ttc than not so I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo of a Kokpelmana, a fertility deity. I went to Your Design or Mine in Lexington where my cousin had gotten a couple of tattoos and told them Mr TCI and I have been struggling with infertility for 3 1/2 years and I told them I was hoping she would bring me some good luck and karma to help overcome our battle. This sparked a conversation among the couple who own the shop and their son (who did my tattoo) as well as the other artist and another woman (the other artist's girlfriend? Wife? Maybe she worked there too?). The conversation consisted of how much trouble kids were, how once I had kids I would change my mind and wonder why I ever wanted "the rascals", how glad they were they weren't having kids, how lucky the kid was that he was the only one among his friends to not have any kids, etc.
I was annoyed but let it slide. Later I decided to let them know how I felt, hopefully it would give them pause for thought. I know many people who haven't dealt with infertility don't really know how to respond and automatically want to lighten the mood. Unfortunately joking such as this is more hurtful than helpful, a heartfelt or even cursory "Sorry you are going through this" or "Good luck" is a much more appreciated response. I know that I let stuff like this mostly slide but that many women battling infertility are much more hurt than I and if I can help educate people on giving constructive responses when they hear of women struggling, it can help others to do so even if it doesn't bother me all that much beyond minor annoyance. So sparked the following exchange which sent me down the path from slightly annoyed customer to royally pissed off customer.
Michelle wrote:
Hey guys thanks for the great tattoo I got today from Scotty Jr, supervised by Scotty Sr. I did have one comment. You guys were very friendly and I am EXTREMELY happy with my tattoo but I wasn’t very pleased about the response to the meaning behind my tattoo, which is hopefully to give me some good karma in overcoming my battle with infertility. The comments regarding not wanting “the rascals” once I have children and such were quite hurtful since right now I am putting everything I have on the line to become a mother. In the future you guys might be a touch more sensitive to people struggling with something, a simple “Sorry you are going through this” or even “Hope it helps, good luck” would have been a lot nicer than joking about how much you guys are glad it's not you trying to have kids because you don’t want them or whatever. But seriously thanks for the tattoo, I am very happy with it.Your Design or Mine replied:
Michelle
im sorry you took it that way we were just trying to make you smile and lighted the struggle you are having….maybe you should lighten up a bit and just let god lead the way …your friends in ink …pam and scotty----
Michelle replied:
Lighten up? Well I was only slightly stung and irked because I knew you guys didn’t mean to be hurtful and was just trying to give you a heads up in how you could be more sensitive in the future. But it is very poor customer service when someone gives you feedback and you further make light of their situation by belittling them.Your Design or Mine replied:
well we are sorry we hurt you but maybe you are right ?? so perhaps you should find another shop and stop taking your problems out on others…
Company information:
Your Design or Mine
http://www.yourdesignormine.com/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Your-Design-Or-Mine/120493721307820
1993 Harrodsburg Road, Lexington, KY 40503
859-278-1631
The review I have left them on as many of the review sites as I have been able to find...
I had been recommended this shop and have a close relative get work here done years ago with great results so I went to them for my tattoo. They were very friendly but were a bit insensitive to the struggle I was going through that my tattoo was representative of so later that evening I sent them a polite email to let them know how happy I was with my tattoo but that their unintentional insensitivity had stung a bit. I got an email back telling me to “lighten up”. I emailed again saying I was just trying to give them a heads up on how they could be a little more sensitive to their customers and received back an email telling me to find another shop for future work and “quit taking my problems out on others”. Nice customer service. If this is how they react to polite constructive criticism I would hate to see their response to a truly irate customer.
It gets even better! After sharing this story on The Crunchy Infertile's Facebook page, on some fertility forums and on my own Facebook wall, I have had several people tell me they have sent the company emails or left them reviews as well. One person has reported back their own horrific email response from them. She is contacting the BBB and has expressed interest in organizing a protest (she is also a local person). Here is the exchange between them...
Brittney:
I am really offended by an email responce to a fellow woman with infertility. Infertility is hurtful, just like any other heath problem. You try for a baby like there is no tomorrow. You take the pregnancy test every month and every month it is negative, then when it is positive? You suffer from miscarriage after miscarriage, after miscarriage. There is no way to lighten up when you are putting everything on the line for a child an you cannot have one.. or you cannot keep one alive. When a customer tells you that what was said HURT THEM you should apologize and take responsibility . I am so sorry you guys were blessed with children that you do not want. If you would like to give them up for adoption so that an infertile couple may give them a better life.. one where their new parents would teach them kindness and respect towards others feel free to contact me and we can get the ball rolling!
Your Design or Mine:
IF GOD WANTED YOU TO HAVE KIDS YOU WOULD ...SO DONT HATE ON SOME ONE THAT DOES..FUCK OFF
So now I have gone from wanting to share this story with other infertiles to wanting to make sure as many people as possible know what assholes these people are. To be clear, I don't really care about their opinion. If they want to be such assholes amongst themselves that is fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I find it HIGHLY offensive that they would treat customers this way. So please help make sure everyone knows how little these people care about their customers and potential customers.
Here she is...
Playing catch up
So obviously I need to do some catching up since it's been a little over a month since that last post. The next day I decided I had had enough with the ob office and was no longer interested in trusting them with my care. This was beyond not being happy with the doctor herself, this was complete dissatisfaction with the entire office. I was very disappointed. They were affiliated with the hospital that, if we do not do a homebirth like we would like to or if we need to transfer in it would be my choice of hospitals, they have a couple of midwives on staff including two who are very active in the local community in educating women on having an EDUCATED pregnancy and birth whether natural or not. So I was quite disappointed that it hadn't worked out.
I have a few local friends who are also battling infertility. One had just began seeing a new reproductive endocrinologist (RE) who was very highly regarded and she was VERY happy with him so far so I asked her for his information. I called the office and got an appointment for in two weeks. Since I was now on cycle day 3 and am supposed to do Clomid days 3-7, Sean and I discussed whether to go ahead with the Clomid or wait for the appointment to see what the new dr wanted us to do. We decided to go ahead with the Clomid.
On cycle day 6 which was a Sunday, I began having some abdominal pains. They were severe and spreading and we decided about 8pm to go to the emergency room. The ER dr ordered a ct scan and determined the problem was an ovarian cyst. He gave me a prescription for Lortab and sent me home with instructions to see my doctor for followup care.
Now we needed to decide WHO to see for followup care. My pcp? The stupid ob office? The new re I hadn't even seen yet? We decided to first see *IF* I could get in to the new guy. Called the office Monday afternoon and they were able to move my appointment up to Tuesday!
We went in and after an exam and an ultrasound he determined that I did in fact have a small cyst but he was 99.99% certain that the cyst nor anything else gynecological was the source of my pain (which I was still in severe abdominal pain and was eating lortab like candy - NOT like me). Once that was clear we went on to discuss the whole fertility issue in general and came up with a game plan to do a semen analysis on Mr TCI to make sure we weren't dealing with multiple problems and go from there.
We never did definitely pinpoint the cause of the pain. We decided to give it a little time to see if it would go away on it's own, which it did. We did the semen analysis and the results were just fine, the problem is definitely not him. So we went back to see the dr again and decided to do one more round of Clomid, this time bumping the dosage up a bit and doing monitoring to see if it's actually working. We also discussed the potential pcos issue and even though he doesn't seem to *really* think it's a major factor in what's going on, he did also put me on Metformin.
So currently I am on cycle day 6 and have an appointment for the 9th to do the first ultrasound to see if I am trying to get ready to ovulate. I think it will be too early based on info from the last cycles, it appears I have been ovulating around day 18, but we shall see. *nervous*
I have a few local friends who are also battling infertility. One had just began seeing a new reproductive endocrinologist (RE) who was very highly regarded and she was VERY happy with him so far so I asked her for his information. I called the office and got an appointment for in two weeks. Since I was now on cycle day 3 and am supposed to do Clomid days 3-7, Sean and I discussed whether to go ahead with the Clomid or wait for the appointment to see what the new dr wanted us to do. We decided to go ahead with the Clomid.
On cycle day 6 which was a Sunday, I began having some abdominal pains. They were severe and spreading and we decided about 8pm to go to the emergency room. The ER dr ordered a ct scan and determined the problem was an ovarian cyst. He gave me a prescription for Lortab and sent me home with instructions to see my doctor for followup care.
Now we needed to decide WHO to see for followup care. My pcp? The stupid ob office? The new re I hadn't even seen yet? We decided to first see *IF* I could get in to the new guy. Called the office Monday afternoon and they were able to move my appointment up to Tuesday!
We went in and after an exam and an ultrasound he determined that I did in fact have a small cyst but he was 99.99% certain that the cyst nor anything else gynecological was the source of my pain (which I was still in severe abdominal pain and was eating lortab like candy - NOT like me). Once that was clear we went on to discuss the whole fertility issue in general and came up with a game plan to do a semen analysis on Mr TCI to make sure we weren't dealing with multiple problems and go from there.
We never did definitely pinpoint the cause of the pain. We decided to give it a little time to see if it would go away on it's own, which it did. We did the semen analysis and the results were just fine, the problem is definitely not him. So we went back to see the dr again and decided to do one more round of Clomid, this time bumping the dosage up a bit and doing monitoring to see if it's actually working. We also discussed the potential pcos issue and even though he doesn't seem to *really* think it's a major factor in what's going on, he did also put me on Metformin.
So currently I am on cycle day 6 and have an appointment for the 9th to do the first ultrasound to see if I am trying to get ready to ovulate. I think it will be too early based on info from the last cycles, it appears I have been ovulating around day 18, but we shall see. *nervous*
The difference in doctors
This was posted July 27th and was my most recent post and therefore my last catch up post.
If you have read my previous posts you are aware of the difficulties I have had with my current ob office. Yesterday I was amazed at how different doctor offices can be. On Monday I called my pcp to get an appointment. I have been having some back issues and needed to go to a lab to pull some blood for my ob. I could go in to Lexington to their lab but if I can kill two birds with one stone why not? So I called on Monday and an appointment was set for Tuesday afternoon. Actually I was offered Monday afternoon but dh wanted to go and that was too short of notice for his work. But seriously? A doctor office that can fit you in same day or even the next day for a clear non emergency? What planet is this?
Before we left for the appointment I decided I need to call the ob and make an appointment now that I was sure I was not pregnant, to see if we can discuss the problems I have been having with the office and, if we decided to keep working with them, discuss a game plan. I called, went through the multilevel voice menu system, choose the number for making appointments and listened to the "Please hold, your call will be answered in the order it was received" spiel for nearly 15 minutes. Finally it changes, they have picked up, but are fumbling with the phone. For a good minute I hear rusting, background noise and people talking. He comes on the line and I say "I need to make an appointment with Dr ****." "Ok, please hold" and he transfers me to the nurse's station where I leave a message saying I need to make an appointment.
We head on in to town to see my pcp. We get checked in, called back, visit with the dr, talk about options and decide, since I'm not pregnant, now is a good time to go ahead and do tests that wouldn't be good to do while pregnant. We decide on mri's for my back and neck and x-rays on my foot. When should we schedule this for? Right down the hall for the x-ray and they will schedule the mri as well. Ok cool.
We go down and get checked in to radiology scheduling. They call me in to discuss the mri and schedule it. As she's on the phone with the mri receptionist, she looks at me and says "Do you want to do it right now?" Well sure, since we're already here, let's get it over with. So off we go to the radiology lab, they get me all set up and in that horrid little tube (my first mri, I am slightly claustrophobic, it was not fun). I get back in to my clothes, back to the waiting room with Mr TCI, wait a few minutes, they call me back to x-ray, we do the x-rays, I go to the bloodwork lab and get my blood drawn and we head up to the front desk to see if I am done for the day or if I need to see the dr again for anything before we leave. She tells us that the techs will go over my mri's and x-rays the next day and to expect a call from the dr then.
We head home. We are not even half way home when my phone rings, it is my doctor's nurse calling to tell me the results of the tests. We discuss the findings and what to do about them and she tells me to expect a call from the physical therapy place to set up physical therapy for my back.
Seriously? I was in to the office about 30 hours after calling to make an appointment, they handled all of this in about 3 hour's time and EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON was kind, respectful and happy. I got my results quickly and have a game plan we are happy with. Did I miss something? Did I wake up in an alternate universe or something?
Meanwhile the ob office has not yet called me back to schedule an appointment. Why that should surprise me since they haven't called me back since I left a message some 3 weeks ago saying I had some questions.
If you have read my previous posts you are aware of the difficulties I have had with my current ob office. Yesterday I was amazed at how different doctor offices can be. On Monday I called my pcp to get an appointment. I have been having some back issues and needed to go to a lab to pull some blood for my ob. I could go in to Lexington to their lab but if I can kill two birds with one stone why not? So I called on Monday and an appointment was set for Tuesday afternoon. Actually I was offered Monday afternoon but dh wanted to go and that was too short of notice for his work. But seriously? A doctor office that can fit you in same day or even the next day for a clear non emergency? What planet is this?
Before we left for the appointment I decided I need to call the ob and make an appointment now that I was sure I was not pregnant, to see if we can discuss the problems I have been having with the office and, if we decided to keep working with them, discuss a game plan. I called, went through the multilevel voice menu system, choose the number for making appointments and listened to the "Please hold, your call will be answered in the order it was received" spiel for nearly 15 minutes. Finally it changes, they have picked up, but are fumbling with the phone. For a good minute I hear rusting, background noise and people talking. He comes on the line and I say "I need to make an appointment with Dr ****." "Ok, please hold" and he transfers me to the nurse's station where I leave a message saying I need to make an appointment.
We head on in to town to see my pcp. We get checked in, called back, visit with the dr, talk about options and decide, since I'm not pregnant, now is a good time to go ahead and do tests that wouldn't be good to do while pregnant. We decide on mri's for my back and neck and x-rays on my foot. When should we schedule this for? Right down the hall for the x-ray and they will schedule the mri as well. Ok cool.
We go down and get checked in to radiology scheduling. They call me in to discuss the mri and schedule it. As she's on the phone with the mri receptionist, she looks at me and says "Do you want to do it right now?" Well sure, since we're already here, let's get it over with. So off we go to the radiology lab, they get me all set up and in that horrid little tube (my first mri, I am slightly claustrophobic, it was not fun). I get back in to my clothes, back to the waiting room with Mr TCI, wait a few minutes, they call me back to x-ray, we do the x-rays, I go to the bloodwork lab and get my blood drawn and we head up to the front desk to see if I am done for the day or if I need to see the dr again for anything before we leave. She tells us that the techs will go over my mri's and x-rays the next day and to expect a call from the dr then.
We head home. We are not even half way home when my phone rings, it is my doctor's nurse calling to tell me the results of the tests. We discuss the findings and what to do about them and she tells me to expect a call from the physical therapy place to set up physical therapy for my back.
Seriously? I was in to the office about 30 hours after calling to make an appointment, they handled all of this in about 3 hour's time and EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON was kind, respectful and happy. I got my results quickly and have a game plan we are happy with. Did I miss something? Did I wake up in an alternate universe or something?
Meanwhile the ob office has not yet called me back to schedule an appointment. Why that should surprise me since they haven't called me back since I left a message some 3 weeks ago saying I had some questions.
One more cycle down the drain
This was posted July 25th
Ok so AF hasn't shown yet but I am sure she will. Doesn't she always? I tried not to get my hopes up this time, I really did. Heck for most of my 2ww I didn't even know right off the top of my head what cycle day I was or when I was supposed to start testing. Then I looked. Then I thought I felt implantation. Then my boobs got sore. Then I had a night of heartburn/nausea (which, honestly could have, and obviously was, caused by dinner that night which had grains AND dairy, two things we have cut from our diet). 3 bfn's later, I spent last night in my usual pms hormone crazy horniness and today weeping and cramping. No doubt as to what tomorrow entails. I hate infertility.
Ok so AF hasn't shown yet but I am sure she will. Doesn't she always? I tried not to get my hopes up this time, I really did. Heck for most of my 2ww I didn't even know right off the top of my head what cycle day I was or when I was supposed to start testing. Then I looked. Then I thought I felt implantation. Then my boobs got sore. Then I had a night of heartburn/nausea (which, honestly could have, and obviously was, caused by dinner that night which had grains AND dairy, two things we have cut from our diet). 3 bfn's later, I spent last night in my usual pms hormone crazy horniness and today weeping and cramping. No doubt as to what tomorrow entails. I hate infertility.
Infertility support groups
This was also posted July 24th, no I haven't done anything about it yet.
Does anyone go to support groups? I have looked around and there are a couple of local groups but they are all faith based. As a Unitarian Universalist who has recently become interested in Pagan I am not really interested in a faith based support group. Am thinking of starting one up. I emailed Resolve for their info on peer led support groups, we'll see what comes of it. I know I get a lot from the closed infertility Facebook page I started, it's nice to be able to talk to others going through the same things and knowing not everyone and their brother can see what you are saying (interested in checking it out? Do a FB search for groups called Infertility, it's the closed group with an infertility ribbon as the profile pic. Request to join and shoot me a message letting me know to sent the request).
I don't want the group to exclude religion and a person's faith, just not be a group of only Christians or whatever. I was thinking having some fertility gods/icons, fertility candles, say some fertility prayers/poems, talk about our journeys, etc.
Does anyone go to support groups? I have looked around and there are a couple of local groups but they are all faith based. As a Unitarian Universalist who has recently become interested in Pagan I am not really interested in a faith based support group. Am thinking of starting one up. I emailed Resolve for their info on peer led support groups, we'll see what comes of it. I know I get a lot from the closed infertility Facebook page I started, it's nice to be able to talk to others going through the same things and knowing not everyone and their brother can see what you are saying (interested in checking it out? Do a FB search for groups called Infertility, it's the closed group with an infertility ribbon as the profile pic. Request to join and shoot me a message letting me know to sent the request).
I don't want the group to exclude religion and a person's faith, just not be a group of only Christians or whatever. I was thinking having some fertility gods/icons, fertility candles, say some fertility prayers/poems, talk about our journeys, etc.
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