My new tattoo, infertility insensitivity and horrid customer service

I have one tattoo that I got as my 30th birthday present to myself. I have wanted more but didn't really want to get any while I was trying to get pregnant, pregnant or breastfeeding which, of course, I have been doing one for a while and would hopefully be doing all of the above for the majority of my foreseeable future. So I had resigned myself to accepting that there would be no more tattoos for who knows how long.

After doing some research I decided that it would not really be any more risky to get one while ttc than not so I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo of a Kokpelmana, a fertility deity. I went to Your Design or Mine in Lexington where my cousin had gotten a couple of tattoos and told them Mr TCI and I have been struggling with infertility for 3 1/2 years and I told them I was hoping she would bring me some good luck and karma to help overcome our battle. This sparked a conversation among the couple who own the shop and their son (who did my tattoo) as well as the other artist and another woman (the other artist's girlfriend? Wife? Maybe she worked there too?). The conversation consisted of how much trouble kids were, how once I had kids I would change my mind and wonder why I ever wanted "the rascals", how glad they were they weren't having kids, how lucky the kid was that he was the only one among his friends to not have any kids, etc.


I was annoyed but let it slide. Later I decided to let them know how I felt, hopefully it would give them pause for thought. I know many people who haven't dealt with infertility don't really know how to respond and automatically want to lighten the mood. Unfortunately joking such as this is more hurtful than helpful, a heartfelt or even cursory "Sorry you are going through this" or "Good luck" is a much more appreciated response. I know that I let stuff like this mostly slide but that many women battling infertility are much more hurt than I and if I can help educate people on giving constructive responses when they hear of women struggling, it can help others to do so even if it doesn't bother me all that much beyond minor annoyance. So sparked the following exchange which sent me down the path from slightly annoyed customer to royally pissed off customer.


Michelle wrote:

Hey guys thanks for the great tattoo I got today from Scotty Jr, supervised by Scotty Sr. I did have one comment. You guys were very friendly and I am EXTREMELY happy with my tattoo but I wasn’t very pleased about the response to the meaning behind my tattoo, which is hopefully to give me some good karma in overcoming my battle with infertility. The comments regarding not wanting “the rascals” once I have children and such were quite hurtful since right now I am putting everything I have on the line to become a mother. In the future you guys might be a touch more sensitive to people struggling with something, a simple “Sorry you are going through this” or even “Hope it helps, good luck” would have been a lot nicer than joking about how much you guys are glad it's not you trying to have kids because you don’t want them or whatever. But seriously thanks for the tattoo, I am very happy with it.
Michelle

Your Design or Mine replied:

im sorry you took it that way we were just trying to make you smile and lighted the struggle you are having….maybe you should lighten up a bit and just let god lead the way …your friends in ink …pam and scotty----

Michelle replied:

Lighten up? Well I was only slightly stung and irked because I knew you guys didn’t mean to be hurtful and was just trying to give you a heads up in how you could be more sensitive in the future. But it is very poor customer service when someone gives you feedback and you further make light of their situation by belittling them.

Your Design or Mine replied:

well we are sorry we hurt you but maybe you are right ?? so perhaps you should find another shop and stop taking your problems out on others…

Company information:
Your Design or Mine
http://www.yourdesignormine.com/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Your-Design-Or-Mine/120493721307820
1993 Harrodsburg Road, Lexington, KY 40503
859-278-1631


The review I have left them on as many of the review sites as I have been able to find...

I had been recommended this shop and have a close relative get work here done years ago with great results so I went to them for my tattoo. They were very friendly but were a bit insensitive to the struggle I was going through that my tattoo was representative of so later that evening I sent them a polite email to let them know how happy I was with my tattoo but that their unintentional insensitivity had stung a bit. I got an email back telling me to “lighten up”. I emailed again saying I was just trying to give them a heads up on how they could be a little more sensitive to their customers and received back an email telling me to find another shop for future work and “quit taking my problems out on others”. Nice customer service. If this is how they react to polite constructive criticism I would hate to see their response to a truly irate customer.

It gets even better! After sharing this story on The Crunchy Infertile's Facebook page, on some fertility forums and on my own Facebook wall, I have had several people tell me they have sent the company emails or left them reviews as well. One person has reported back their own horrific email response from them. She is contacting the BBB and has expressed interest in organizing a protest (she is also a local person). Here is the exchange between them...

Brittney:

I am really offended by an email responce to a fellow woman with infertility. Infertility is hurtful, just like any other heath problem. You try for a baby like there is no tomorrow. You take the pregnancy test every month and every month it is negative, then when it is positive? You suffer from miscarriage after miscarriage, after miscarriage. There is no way to lighten up when you are putting everything on the line for a child an you cannot have one.. or you cannot keep one alive. When a customer tells you that what was said HURT THEM you should apologize and take responsibility . I am so sorry you guys were blessed with children that you do not want. If you would like to give them up for adoption so that an infertile couple may give them a better life.. one where their new parents would teach them kindness and respect towards others feel free to contact me and we can get the ball rolling!

Your Design or Mine:

IF GOD WANTED YOU TO HAVE KIDS YOU WOULD ...SO DONT HATE ON SOME ONE THAT DOES..FUCK OFF


So now I have gone from wanting to share this story with other infertiles to wanting to make sure as many people as possible know what assholes these people are. To be clear, I don't really care about their opinion. If they want to be such assholes amongst themselves that is fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I find it HIGHLY offensive that they would treat customers this way. So please help make sure everyone knows how little these people care about their customers and potential customers.

Here she is...